Gratitude

I have so much to be thankful for.

And honestly, expressing gratitude has been something I've struggled with. I tend to hold it in, and I recognize how thankful I am, but I don't express it for others to see how thankful I am.

Which kinda defeats the purpose, and doesn't help anyone but maybe myself.

So I decided that for the month of December, my goal is gonna be to express my gratitude as much as I can. Not so much my gratitude for material objects, but for the people I've met in the past 16 years. I've been so lucky to meet so many amazing people that have changed my life completely, and I'm realizing that I've never really told a lot of these people how big of an effect they've had on my life. And if I have told them, I haven't told them to what extent. I think that there's no time like the present, and in the spirit of the holidays and giving, I think December is very fitting. So we'll see how it goes.

Every week I've been trying to share a dance that either goes along with my post, or that I've been thinking about or that I like this week. This week's has nothing to do with being thankful, but I've been loving this song and this dance for quite some time, but especially today.

"I have learned that the more thankful I am, the more I have to be thankful for."

Just Another Manic Monday.

It's an Adele kinda Monday. 

I've been thinking all day about what to blog about on this beautiful Monday afternoon, but I've come up with nothing. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. 

Life's kinda crazy like that, Last Monday I had so many ideas about what I should write, to the point where I agreed to do this weekly. But now, I'm a little stuck. (Sidenote:"When We Were Young" always makes me cry :/ )

I started rewatching Red Band Society this weekend and it made me lowkey miss freshman year. It seems like it was forever and a half ago, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't. Which kinda weirds me out. I still have so much living left to do, so many more memories to make, so many more lessons to learn. I've only been on this planet for 16 years, and it's felt like an eternity. I'm so excited to make a name for myself, in whatever means that is. Sometimes high school just seems to be moving SO slow, I'm just ready to move on with my life and do what I want to do, not sit in a classroom for 35 hours a week. I understand it's "Preparing us for the real world", but sometimes it feels so monotonous and repetitive that it's setting me back from where I should be in my life and what I should be doing. None of this makes sense because I still have no idea what I want to do after high school, but it's fine. really. 

I think I wanna get into photography and videography. Not as a career path, but as a hobby. I honestly think that would be so fun, all I need is some people/things to shoot. We'll see how long this lasts... might as well document it here and put it out there. IF ANYONE WANTS TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOGRAPHY MODEL (or if anyone is actually reading this blog post) LEMME KNOW!

This Monday's post has been an interesting one. I'm gonna throw in a random video because why not. Until next blog,

-DBau

This dance is "Open Hands" by Joanne Chapman School o f Dance. It gives me chills every time I watch it and it deserves way more recognition in my opinion so here ya go.

"What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet"

Transience

Transience. 

It seems like such a big word. but basically all it does is put the cliché "nothing lasts forever" into one word. Transience. There's this spoken word dance I've been thinking about a lot lately, called "Existential Bummer". The audio is from a video by a man named Jason Silva, and in it, he mentions the transience of nature, which leads into the discussion of the shortness of relationships, and life itself. 

Me, as a 16-year-old who has never dated anyone, tend to put the word "relationship" into the context of friends, and family, and other people of that sort instead of a romantic standpoint. I do that more often than not, and in this instance it really hit home to me that nothing lasts forever, no matter how hard we try. It's crazy to think that 4 years ago, I was friends with none of the people I'm friends with now. And I always thought those would be the friends I would have until I'm in the grave. It's shocking how quickly those things can change.

In the Existential Bummer dance, it questions what we should do. Do we give up on life and love completely, because "Hey! it won't last anyways!" Or do we love even harder and grow an even deeper relationship with the people we have and make the most of whatever time we have on this earth?


I'm siding with the latter.


This year, I've tried to turn myself into more of a "half glass full" kinda gal, and it's going great for me so far. I wanna see how far I can take it. I just want to inspire people and be happy. Lately, I've realized I'd rather be broke and happy than well off and stuck with the life I've picked. I have a feeling my future finances will not thank me for this mindset, but it will all be okay. It's fine. It always is fine. I hope you do the same, just dive in to everything you do with no regrets. Because in the end, everything has TRANSIENCE.

"Better an oops than a what if"