Gratitude

I have so much to be thankful for.

And honestly, expressing gratitude has been something I've struggled with. I tend to hold it in, and I recognize how thankful I am, but I don't express it for others to see how thankful I am.

Which kinda defeats the purpose, and doesn't help anyone but maybe myself.

So I decided that for the month of December, my goal is gonna be to express my gratitude as much as I can. Not so much my gratitude for material objects, but for the people I've met in the past 16 years. I've been so lucky to meet so many amazing people that have changed my life completely, and I'm realizing that I've never really told a lot of these people how big of an effect they've had on my life. And if I have told them, I haven't told them to what extent. I think that there's no time like the present, and in the spirit of the holidays and giving, I think December is very fitting. So we'll see how it goes.

Every week I've been trying to share a dance that either goes along with my post, or that I've been thinking about or that I like this week. This week's has nothing to do with being thankful, but I've been loving this song and this dance for quite some time, but especially today.

"I have learned that the more thankful I am, the more I have to be thankful for."

Just Another Manic Monday.

It's an Adele kinda Monday. 

I've been thinking all day about what to blog about on this beautiful Monday afternoon, but I've come up with nothing. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. 

Life's kinda crazy like that, Last Monday I had so many ideas about what I should write, to the point where I agreed to do this weekly. But now, I'm a little stuck. (Sidenote:"When We Were Young" always makes me cry :/ )

I started rewatching Red Band Society this weekend and it made me lowkey miss freshman year. It seems like it was forever and a half ago, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't. Which kinda weirds me out. I still have so much living left to do, so many more memories to make, so many more lessons to learn. I've only been on this planet for 16 years, and it's felt like an eternity. I'm so excited to make a name for myself, in whatever means that is. Sometimes high school just seems to be moving SO slow, I'm just ready to move on with my life and do what I want to do, not sit in a classroom for 35 hours a week. I understand it's "Preparing us for the real world", but sometimes it feels so monotonous and repetitive that it's setting me back from where I should be in my life and what I should be doing. None of this makes sense because I still have no idea what I want to do after high school, but it's fine. really. 

I think I wanna get into photography and videography. Not as a career path, but as a hobby. I honestly think that would be so fun, all I need is some people/things to shoot. We'll see how long this lasts... might as well document it here and put it out there. IF ANYONE WANTS TO BE A PHOTOGRAPHY/VIDEOGRAPHY MODEL (or if anyone is actually reading this blog post) LEMME KNOW!

This Monday's post has been an interesting one. I'm gonna throw in a random video because why not. Until next blog,

-DBau

This dance is "Open Hands" by Joanne Chapman School o f Dance. It gives me chills every time I watch it and it deserves way more recognition in my opinion so here ya go.

"What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet"

Transience

Transience. 

It seems like such a big word. but basically all it does is put the cliché "nothing lasts forever" into one word. Transience. There's this spoken word dance I've been thinking about a lot lately, called "Existential Bummer". The audio is from a video by a man named Jason Silva, and in it, he mentions the transience of nature, which leads into the discussion of the shortness of relationships, and life itself. 

Me, as a 16-year-old who has never dated anyone, tend to put the word "relationship" into the context of friends, and family, and other people of that sort instead of a romantic standpoint. I do that more often than not, and in this instance it really hit home to me that nothing lasts forever, no matter how hard we try. It's crazy to think that 4 years ago, I was friends with none of the people I'm friends with now. And I always thought those would be the friends I would have until I'm in the grave. It's shocking how quickly those things can change.

In the Existential Bummer dance, it questions what we should do. Do we give up on life and love completely, because "Hey! it won't last anyways!" Or do we love even harder and grow an even deeper relationship with the people we have and make the most of whatever time we have on this earth?


I'm siding with the latter.


This year, I've tried to turn myself into more of a "half glass full" kinda gal, and it's going great for me so far. I wanna see how far I can take it. I just want to inspire people and be happy. Lately, I've realized I'd rather be broke and happy than well off and stuck with the life I've picked. I have a feeling my future finances will not thank me for this mindset, but it will all be okay. It's fine. It always is fine. I hope you do the same, just dive in to everything you do with no regrets. Because in the end, everything has TRANSIENCE.

"Better an oops than a what if"

Change

"Nothing will ever change if you don't do anything about it."

 If you have even the slightest interest in the dance world, you've probably heard about the "Cat vs. Molly" debate. If not, long story short, Cat and Molly are two choreographers. Molly is know for her (in lack of better words) scandalous jazz dances, and Cat is a choreographer/competition judge that is looking for a change in the world of dance for over-sexualizing dancers in order to win. All personal opinions aside, I thought it was very impressive how strong Cat was with her opinions and call for change. A lot of people called her out on her delivery, and she went back and explained her reasoning for singling out one person. She wanted change.  This whole situation has taught me that nothing will change if you don't do anything about an issue. Bad behavior will continue, and it will become a vicious cycle that is very hard to get out of very quickly. 

A year ago today was the worst day of my life, as far as I can remember. I was at an all time low, and it seemed like it couldn't possibly get any worse. But I gave myself two days before deciding I needed a change. Thankfully, I started camp that day. I changed my attitude, improved myself, and I saw that my situation wasn't actually god awful. I wouldn't have ever got out of that pit if I didn't do anything about it.

As I see it, nothing is ever permanent. If you see an issue with something, it's never too late to do something about it. TAKE A STAND. FIGHT BACK. CHANGE YOUR WORLD. MAKE IT YOURS. 

"It's not about what it is, it's about what it can become."  -Dr. Seuss, The Lorax

Fly.

Flying is literally the coolest thing ever. You can get across the country in a matter of hours. A trip that was meant to take weeks, even months, can be condensed in the span of a few hours. I may sound old fashioned, but we as a society tend to overthink how lucky we are to have great things to make life easier and more enjoyable such as planes. The view of your world from a plane is paralleled by no other. Planes offer a glimpse of what your entire normality. Planes have a strange way of making your life fell so small and insignificant to the world, yet making you feel like nothing else matters but you right in that moment as you look out that window. It's fascinating to me just how small we really are compared to the world. What may seem like our biggest downfall may not even affect the couple that lives next door, or even your siblings in the room down the hall. There's mountains taller than clouds, buildings that can hold hundreds of thousands, roads that stretch through entire states, and then there's me, who believes that my problems should cause everyone else to fall to their knees. Planes have a way of making you think about the bigger picture. They're a reality check in their own. They sweep you off the ground and into the air to marvel at the bountiful universe that you and all of your insignificant problems are a part of. Your personal downfalls will not matter in the end. you'll get back up one way or another. For me, I personally hope to get back up in a plane at sunset, watching the light of day fade to the darkness of night, providing a sense of security that life does indeed go on.